■ Wanted to be a BHAI!

I wanted to be a BHAI, not the behno ka committed bhai, who has to be more vigilant than the body guards of President Bush, protecting their 'innocent pyaari si choti bahena' from the 'awara-lafanga' dude who has a friend circle, of which the most intellectual one is a class 8 drop out, thinks Filmfare is India's Highest Gallantry Award and Bipasha Basu to be the grand daughter of West Bengal ex-CM, Jyoti Basu (till last week i too thought the same!).

While I was a kid, if the guests visiting our house, would ask me my ambition, I would be all excited to tell them about my decision to pursue the BHAI career but then my mother's 'say-exactly-what-i-tought-you-else-you-are-in-deep-trouble' intimidating look would leave no choice but to reply 'i-want-to-be-a-doctor-like-my-dad' dejectedly!. I am sure the BHAI log who are successful today had more supportive mothers! Poor me!

Despite this, I was determined about my passion! as determined as Edison making the first bulb glow. I grew up with my parents trying to inject frequent heavy-doses of values and morals into me but the Gandhigiri did not impress me as much as 'Leave the gun, take the cannoli' and 'I'm gonna make him an offer he can't refuse' of Don Corleone did! The BHAI world fascinated me. Your reply of 'Don't worry Sir, I will take care of it' when your PM points out a bug in your code is such a yawner whereas 'Aye Mamu,chill maar, khali pili dimag pe tension mat le, BP ki waat lagegi, Apun abhi isko line pe laata hai!' is all animated and also shows your concern for the PM's health!

The SOCIAL BHAI COMMUNITY, the elite members of which have dedicated their lives for Social Service! Drunken driving, License got confiscated? for 2 wheelers contact PULSAR-BHAI and 4 wheelers are taken care by SANTRO-BHAI (ZEN-BHAI is equally good!). DRY day in your region, got b'day to celebrate? JOHNNIE-BHAI comes to rescue. Your heart goes 'Kuch Kuch Hota Hai' over the next door 'Rani' but the 6'2 macho with overdeveloped biceps comes in your way,No Gham only Khushi, ROMEO-BHAI takes care of it (charges vary depending on the duration, you intend to keep the guy in hospital). Made a promise to your girlfriend to take her to the first-day-first-show of a Hrithik starrer, only to find out that the tickets got sold out till next week, not to worry, our '2 KA 4-BHAI' saves your day! She is happy, says she loves you 327 times throughout the movie!
Mamu, yeh social service nahin hai to kya hai! BHAI log is prevalent in nearly every part of your life, working diligently to make it run smooth!


As a BHAI, I would have concentrated on the Students problem which has not been catered to the fullest. Confused if bicuspid valves are in kidney or in the intestine, the day before medical entrance exam but still want to be a doctor, you know whom to contact. Assignment due in fluid-dynamics, the topper has solved it but won't show it to you, fikar naat, samjho ho gaya! Got term paper tomorrow, spent the whole day with your lady love celebrating(you have just completed 4 weeks together, of course it was her idea!) and don't have slightest idea of the syllabus, success guaranteed- 'Main Hoon Naa'! All services of course at subsidized rates.

Things were going great. I was so close to my dream job when 'Ab tak Chhappan' spread havoc in the BHAI community(A NanaPatekar starrer which depicts a cop, hell bent to wipe the BHAI species from the face of the earth). I was still steady but the constant nagging of my mother and warning from my father to disown, if I don't choose a 'more respectable' career proved the real sprit crusher.

Parents should be a bit more supportive!