■ Pyar To Hona Hi Tha

Second year in college, I stormed into M's room. He was busy analyzing market trends with the edition of Economic Times and G was caught ogling at the full blown picture of Kareena Kapoor on the entertainment page of TOI. Adrenalin rushing within, glitter in my eyes, I was excited to break the news. I took a deep breath and declared - 'I am in Love'! Incidentally things did not happen the way as I had expected. Their reaction was plain, more or less on the lines of Jai, when Veeru disclosed that he had fallen for Basanti. M gave me the 'tell me something new' expression while G nodded his head and went back to what he was doing.

The phenomenon of me falling in love dates back to the days when I was introduced to this four lettered magical word. I was in love with a girl in first grade when she shared a family-pack of Dairy Milk chocolate with me. I fell for another girl in third grade  when I broke her pencil-box but she never complained to the teacher and it was definitely something cooking in sixth grade when one allowed me to copy her assignment solutions. Well there had been numerous others but they never got the time to develop, either I would change the school or the girl would have to leave the city as her dad got transferred. Zalim zamana!

College life and love was in the air! G found his love-at-first-sight with the girl, he had met on the first day of college, C ended up with his childhood friend, K found his suitable match and S was charmed by intelligence. M would not settle anything less than Ash, thus continued his search. As for me, after a lot of thought process, I narrowed down to 6. As time passed, the number kept decreasing. I had to let go some of them, coz few had the impression that they were Bipasha and were born to be destined only with John Abraham. Some had brothers who looked like Mike Tyson and would not regret a bit to break the neck of any guy they found in close proximity of their sisters. By the time college ended, I was back to square one.

Right now I am blogging from the university cafeteria on my laptop. There is this girl sitting across the table in front of me. Shez the same girl, I had seen y'day at the bus stop. She is adorable. A tactful glimpse at her and I found her giggling at me! I wonder is it coz of the way I am munching those finger chips. She has put on an aqua top which happens to be my fave color. The novel on her table read 'The Hound of the Baskervilles'. Didn't I mention that I admire Sherlock Holmes? I wonder if this is a mere coincidence.

Let me wrap up fast as she is leaving. Wait a sec! she has left her handkerchief! Is that a mistake or done intentionally! There can't be so many coincidences, its definitely a sign. May be it has her name embroidered on it. Wonder what her name would be, who cares ? I am fine even if her name is Vaijanthimala! Let me go and grab it. May be this is the girl I have been waiting for. May be this is the person I am destined to spend the rest of my life with. I am excited! let me call up M and G and give them the good news. Dude, I am definitely in love!

■ CHOTE MIYAN

'Are u sure??' she asked, the receptionist was somewhat wary. She was checking the personal details that I had submitted for the university record. I knew exactly what made her give me the 'don't-be-smart-pants' look. I stood there like the kid who was caught stealing cookies from kitchen. Reluctantly, I took the document back, decreased the entry against the HEIGHT field by three inches and shoved it back.

I had been a satisfied guy. I don't dream of sharing a cubicle with Mr. Gates, don't have the fancy of being on the advisory committee of our honorable Mr. President, I don't even fantasize of being on a date with Scarlett Johansson! um uh err jyada ho gaya.. guess, you can spare the last one. Whatever, my whole point is that I am a nearly-contented guy. I am glad the way I am, except for one small regret. I am not quite happy with my height. It is limited to the extent that Shakil O'Neil is a giant on my scale. Its doubtful that I might not to be considered an average-height-male even in Japan! This didn't make me very happy. I am half as happy as the white guy whose blond wife recently gave birth to an African-American triplet! Believe me, its not at all a pleasant experience, when you shop for your clothes in the section where the sign reads 'under 16 years'.

While in school, my mother had to specially request my teachers to allow me to take the front seats, not because she thought that I was a sincere whiz-kid, dug books and had a 'i-know-everything' halo circling my head but for obvious reasons.

My mother tried her best, made sure that I had every health drink available in the market. Any new commercial whose tag line went 'badhte bachchon ke liye' would be included in my daily diet! I had the one, which Sachin revealed, was 'the secret of his energy'. I even had the one which featured the then young-Ayesha Takia as the growing girl, her mother apparently pissed as the girl was growing by leaps and bounds and her skirts were falling short frequently ( guess she is still regular with that drink! chota-trivia: the boy in the Ad is Shahid Kapoor) Everything possible was tried n tested but could not help me add even a tenth of an inch to my immensely poor stats.

With the cable TV subscription, I was introduced to the world of Teleshopping. An ultimate wonderland that introduces the viewers to ultimate gadgets and commodities. The famous of them being the weight-loss cream, boasting to have the capability to turn anyone into slim-trim Mallika Sherawat, without even shedding a drop of sweat and the wonder-oil that would force hair even on the shiny bare head of Rakesh Roshan! But the Ad that attracted my attention the most, was the height-booster-foot-sole. A girl is shown whining about not being able to lure guys coz of her short height, also a guy, completely humiliated by his so-called tall friends, laments - 'pehle mujhe bahut sharm aati thi... main kahin bahar jaana pasand nahin karta tha... mujhe mere dost chidhate the'. After constant use of the product for a month, miracle happens, both the 'zamana ka sataya' victims gain the badly needed extra inch! the guy regains his long lost confidence and gladly narrates 'ab mujhe bahut achcha mehsus hota hai... main ab party ki jaan ban gaya hoon!' and the girl is equally happy. In short the magic-sole has transformed them into Brad pitt and Angelina jolie respectively, charming everyone on their way!

I was enchanted! The Ad mesmerized me! Finally, I thought, my pursuit of eternal happiness was over. My key to charm the 'colony-ki-heart-throb' was just a phone ring away and had a price tag of Rs 999 only!

I never made the call. May be, coz of the fact that I eventually realized that Sachin hitting a smashing boundary, Maradona scoring the winning goal, Amir Khan delivering one block-buster after another and girls falling for the macho Salman is not limited by their short structure.

■ Mummy da Dhaba

Roti and mixed-veg! Again??!! I would make a disgusting face followed by a 'yuck' of 140 decibel when my mother served me the same dinner two days in a row despite the fact that the other five days had chicken masala, chicken biriyani, paneer makhani, kashmiri pulav and navratan korma on the menu, everything customized to suit my taste!

Needless to say that my mother loved to cook for me and I hopelessly misused this privilege far more than the minister who exploited his privileges to end up in a 80 crore scam (small amount haan?? guess, he could not exploit it to the fullest!). I was a spoilt kid and definitely my demands for the lavish cuisine continued to be one of her royal pains till i left for college! She made the best but I would find a reason to complain!

First day in college, before leaving for classes in the morning I noticed that the menu at the hostel dining room read 'chili chicken' and 'veg-korma'. The day was hectic but the menu for the night kept my spirits high! I even skipped my evening snacks to reserve some extra room for the chicken (back then I was a voracious-rapacious-carnivorous homosapien). Clock struck 9 and I was at dining room only to find that the much awaited 'chili chicken' was a disaster. I don't even want to talk about the 'korma'! If invited, I am certain even the severely starved people of Somalia would have outright rejected the offer! I was horrified, as horrified as the teenage girl who was left alone in a Dolby Digital theater and made to watch 'the exorcist', 'bhoot' and 'Akshay-Anil-Nana-starrer-Welcome' back to back (you can surely count on the last one too!). I missed my mother's dishes!

Before coming to US the only thing i knew to 'cook' was maggie (most of the time had to be satisfied with the half cooked one). I once made upma too but then i guess the half burnt, salt less broth won't qualify. My room mates were supportive. Either they gobbled the food I made, with a big glass of water else they made sure to have their dinner outside on days when it was my turn to cook.

I miss my mom's 'masala alu' every time I shove the half baked potato curry down my throat. The frozen roti can never make upto the 'fulke' she used to serve me hot. The 'tofu' is not even close to her 'chili paneer'. Standing in the Subway queue to place an order for a cold six-inch sub stuffed with few slices of tomato and jalapeño, after having the same leftover curry for four days in a row, twice a day makes me realize what a snub I was. If only I can make it up to her!

■ Wanted to be a BHAI!

I wanted to be a BHAI, not the behno ka committed bhai, who has to be more vigilant than the body guards of President Bush, protecting their 'innocent pyaari si choti bahena' from the 'awara-lafanga' dude who has a friend circle, of which the most intellectual one is a class 8 drop out, thinks Filmfare is India's Highest Gallantry Award and Bipasha Basu to be the grand daughter of West Bengal ex-CM, Jyoti Basu (till last week i too thought the same!).

While I was a kid, if the guests visiting our house, would ask me my ambition, I would be all excited to tell them about my decision to pursue the BHAI career but then my mother's 'say-exactly-what-i-tought-you-else-you-are-in-deep-trouble' intimidating look would leave no choice but to reply 'i-want-to-be-a-doctor-like-my-dad' dejectedly!. I am sure the BHAI log who are successful today had more supportive mothers! Poor me!

Despite this, I was determined about my passion! as determined as Edison making the first bulb glow. I grew up with my parents trying to inject frequent heavy-doses of values and morals into me but the Gandhigiri did not impress me as much as 'Leave the gun, take the cannoli' and 'I'm gonna make him an offer he can't refuse' of Don Corleone did! The BHAI world fascinated me. Your reply of 'Don't worry Sir, I will take care of it' when your PM points out a bug in your code is such a yawner whereas 'Aye Mamu,chill maar, khali pili dimag pe tension mat le, BP ki waat lagegi, Apun abhi isko line pe laata hai!' is all animated and also shows your concern for the PM's health!

The SOCIAL BHAI COMMUNITY, the elite members of which have dedicated their lives for Social Service! Drunken driving, License got confiscated? for 2 wheelers contact PULSAR-BHAI and 4 wheelers are taken care by SANTRO-BHAI (ZEN-BHAI is equally good!). DRY day in your region, got b'day to celebrate? JOHNNIE-BHAI comes to rescue. Your heart goes 'Kuch Kuch Hota Hai' over the next door 'Rani' but the 6'2 macho with overdeveloped biceps comes in your way,No Gham only Khushi, ROMEO-BHAI takes care of it (charges vary depending on the duration, you intend to keep the guy in hospital). Made a promise to your girlfriend to take her to the first-day-first-show of a Hrithik starrer, only to find out that the tickets got sold out till next week, not to worry, our '2 KA 4-BHAI' saves your day! She is happy, says she loves you 327 times throughout the movie!
Mamu, yeh social service nahin hai to kya hai! BHAI log is prevalent in nearly every part of your life, working diligently to make it run smooth!


As a BHAI, I would have concentrated on the Students problem which has not been catered to the fullest. Confused if bicuspid valves are in kidney or in the intestine, the day before medical entrance exam but still want to be a doctor, you know whom to contact. Assignment due in fluid-dynamics, the topper has solved it but won't show it to you, fikar naat, samjho ho gaya! Got term paper tomorrow, spent the whole day with your lady love celebrating(you have just completed 4 weeks together, of course it was her idea!) and don't have slightest idea of the syllabus, success guaranteed- 'Main Hoon Naa'! All services of course at subsidized rates.

Things were going great. I was so close to my dream job when 'Ab tak Chhappan' spread havoc in the BHAI community(A NanaPatekar starrer which depicts a cop, hell bent to wipe the BHAI species from the face of the earth). I was still steady but the constant nagging of my mother and warning from my father to disown, if I don't choose a 'more respectable' career proved the real sprit crusher.

Parents should be a bit more supportive!

■ I had a Street Hawk

Second year in college, life could not have been better.

Had recently figured out the mantra to survive the college life - if you can't be sincere the whole semester, make sure you have friends who are. I was working very hard, was hardly having proper sleep. Night-out had become a regular routine. I was all determined! determined to complete my backlog of Hollywood blockbusters that had piled up all these years as my dad won't let me watch when I was a day-scholar.

That year, on my birthday, when I asked my father for a bike, it was not quite the same scenario as would have been in case of Anil Ambani's son asking him for one. A bike? he murmured like 18 times as if I was asking for a 2 seater Ferrari 430 convertible.

'You know, he continued, I would walk 10 miles to school everyday!' Any guy in my place with an ounce of conscience left would have been ashamed to the extent that he would have dug a 20 feet deep hole in the ground and bury himself out of sheer embarrassment. I guess during my architectural design The Almighty forgot to install the responsible chip, so I stood there barefaced! 'off-campus-courses' and 'me-being-their-only-child' were the excuses that survived among the bevy of illogical-insensible-wacky reasons that I put forward to support myself.

'off campus courses' haan? well,what did you expect otherwise? you think, if i had said the actual reason being that 'movie theaters were far' and 'traveling by share-auto was unkool', he would have been sympathetic and would have additionally hiked my monthly allowance to accommodate 2 more movie shows per week??

A reluctant 'ok', the-Green-Signal from dad and i leaped more than Michael Jordon could! but the the joy was as ephemeral as Kishan Kumar's acting career, when I was handed over a second-hand Hero Puch(Kishan Kumar - brother of Gulshan Kumar, starred against Nagma in 'Papa the Great') . I felt more miserable than the actor who was initially signed by MGM to cast as James Bond in 'Quantum of Solace' but finally ended up in a desi B-Grade horror movie, 'Pyasi Chudail'^*, as one of the victim being beheaded by the Chudail(witch), role lasting for not more than 1 minute 36 seconds.



Hero Puch, hmm, a second-hand 2 stroke, 64 cc Hero-puch, was no where comparable to the 4 Stroke, 150C.C DTSI Bajaj-Pulsars that my freinds used to roam on. 'jale-pe-namak' (iodised-TATA-salt on a sore, would be the closest word-to-word english translation) was when some one wud intentionally comment - 'nice LUNA'. Calling a puch, a luna is as dreadful as comparing Aftab with Tushaar Kapoor(well, Aftab has got the looks atleast!).


Truth be told, the puch not only became an essential part of my daily life but also gained popularity among the entire hostelites! It would take people to the mall,to the station to drop friends(luggage included), to hotels to feast, to grab DVDs from our usual Video shop. It was constantly tested of its maximum carrying capacity as I, along with M and G, the Four of us would frequently hop on it for late night shows(my maths is perfectly fine!). My puch was fortunate to go on dates too! Never did it demand but gave service to its best!  

(peter parker aka spiderman rides a puch too :))

*pyasi chudail: the movie exists!

■ I'll never sketch in my life!

"I will never ever sketch in my life!" I swore that in the name of Sridevi when I was a kid (back then Sridevi ruled all over my adolescent heart, currently Katrina and Drew Barrymore share a joint account).

I cud sense that my mother had plans running in the back of her mind to add 'value' to my as such worthless life. During a usual gossip session with next door neighbor Mrs. Sen, mom learnt that her daughter was going for singing lessons. She became determined as ever and I ended up getting enrolled in a drawing course!

Wondering whats bad with a drawing course? well,even my grey cells weren't developed enough to foresee the fact that my classes were scheduled on sundays. 'SUNDAYS' were as important to me as election day to Obama! A regular morning on those days would go me firmly glued with the idiot box.

Hell broke loose. My mom was now between me and my weekly dose of much awaited pure joy! I pleaded for mercy, was out right rejected in 'high court'. Only hope now left was the Supreme Court! I build up my case, pointed out that it will affect my studies and all other reasons that my 'chota sa dimaag' could think of! To my horror the verdict went against me! I cried loud, cried hard, cried while eating, while sleeping but could not move the lady! Injustice was done to the minority!

The day arrived, was accompanied by mother to the institute. I was not the only one serving the sentence. A bunch of toddlers were also victim of the injustice. The pain and sorrow was visible. Back then If Aamir Khan wud have planned for his directorial debut with TZP, I wud have been the most suitable candidate!

I missed Mickey mouse, TaleSpin, DuckTales, Tom n Jerry to name a few! While the fortunate ones watched He-Man (my fave till date, I had the He-Man toy from Mattel and worshiped it!), I was left to make circles and lines. I will never ever forget those miserable days.

It was not before long that the squares I drew, started having four sides, cows got four legs, birds which were tired flying were given legs to rest, the desert started having palm tree in place of the coniferous pine and kids got five fingers, even the missing nose.

Honest enough, the magnificent portraits by Jack Dawson, the character played by Leonardo DiCaprio in Titanic inspired me for figure sketches. I have come a long way now with the aversion finally turning to a passion. I njoy my sketches. Gratitude to my dad who has constantly supported me, my art teacher for his patience of teaching this 'Fardeen Khan' to 'act' and specially to my mother for shoving me to the art institute - thanx Maa.

■ Himesh Reshamiya inspired me to blog

Every time I thought of writing a blog, the 'terrified-petrified-shocked-panicked' face of my English teacher held me back! Specifically put, I was a continuous embarrassment as long as the subject was a compulsory part of my curriculum. A paragraph written by me containing merely three sentences was bound to contain more grammatical errors and spelling mistakes than the combined goof ups done by a group of kindergarten kids in some rural village, taught by some 'masteji' who himself got enlightened through a Rapidex English Speaking Crash Course.

'What! Himesh Reshamiya?!' - after staring at me precisely for 22 seconds quizzically, words came out from my roomie's mouth, when I told him that Reshamiya is the man who inspired me to blog!

I was skeptical as to how people would treat me if I start blogging with my level of proficiency. But then himesh bhai was never thrown stones at or pushed from a cliff nor was deserted on an island for his claims to sing and act!

Let me stop here.
Sincere acknowledgment to the spell-check tool of this blog-editor for its constant support.

sketch:VAIBHAV

VAIBHAV
media: graphite
pencils: mechanical, 6B,8B

sketch: ISHAAN

sketch: CHOTU

chotu
media: graphite























friends
media: graphite and charcoal


this sketch is real dear to me
sadly, screwed it up big time..

sketch: MUNNI

MUNNI
media: graphite and charcoal.

sketch: bench time

sketch: AB

sketch: college days

media: graphite
joint venture with Saurabh









































































media: digital
tool: MS Paint

sketch: water color

medium: artist color
year: 1999 - 2000









PS: reference paintings

sketch: my early sketches